Harr-uary, day two: Harry Styles’ Red Flags

Claire Roma
5 min readFeb 2, 2022

Welcome to day two of Harr-uary!

Yesterday we dove headfirst into my deep admiration of Harry Styles as a musician. Today, we’re going to address the elephant in the room… he is a man. As we all know, men are problematic. Now before you come for me, I know it’s not all men, but it’s enough men. It really just boils down to the fact that he’s just a regular dude with an extraordinary job.

Let’s get into it.

🚩🚩🚩Harry Styles’ Red Flags 🚩🚩🚩

He’s a man.

Not his fault, but you know *shrugs*

He likes green juice.

I’m not talking about a handful of spinach in your morning smoothie. I’m talking nasty celery water with a side of kale, broccoli, and green beans. Styles is often spotted by paps on his way to and fro several juiceries across the world.

He’s narcissistic, and he knows it.

Okay, maybe not clinically, but he definitely jokes about it frequently. You know what I joke about frequently? Mental illness. Are you seeing a correlation?

He likes golf.

Sometimes I forget that Styles is literally a rich white man (rumored net worth to be $75 million+), and rich white men love to golf! Styles started golfing back in his One Direction days with band member, Niall Horan, who loves golf so much that Horan has since started his own company, Modest!Golf. However, I will say that this particular outfit from a golf outing while on break from Love on Tour this year is easily in my top ten Harry Styles looks (not including performances) of all time. The fact that it was thrifted, even better! *chef’s kiss*

He is a cheater!!!!

The opening line of “Falling” is “I’m in my bed/and you’re not here/ and there’s no one to blame/ but the drink and my wandering hand”. The majority of Fine Line is about the entirety of his relationship with French Supermodel and former Victoria’s Secret angel, Camille Rowe, which feels particularly reminiscent of Jay-Z cheating on Beyonce (I will never get over this).

His relationship with ketchup.

The first time I saw this interview and watched this MAN just pour ketchup all over his fries like an absolute menace, I nearly threw up. I know he’s British, but come on, this is just unacceptable.

He lacks communication skills.

Styles admitted several times during promo for Fine Line that he isn’t the best in relationships, even blaming himself and his career for past relationship failures. For someone who is so talented at writing gorgeous and meaningful lyrics it makes sense that it would transfer over to his real life.

Won’t release the studio version of Medicine

“Medicine” may in fact be Styles’ best song, but it has famously never been released. He likes to torture us by playing it live sporadically (and never when I’m in attendance), which makes people lose their shit. We’ll be discussing “Medicine” more next week 😈

He’s selfish.

Styles’ selfishness is a theme on both Harry Styles and Fine Line. I think in order to be as successful as he is, you have to be somewhat selfish… maybe even a little psychotic. Luckily, unlike many men who need therapy, Styles sees a therapist and has opened up about his mental health during the pandemic. His therapist actually came to a performance of Love on Tour this year. What’s the saying? One man goes to therapy, and another man actually acknowledges he has feelings? JFK was so ahead of his time.

He sneezes with both hands.

Hopefully he has learned how to sneeze properly through the pandemic, but this is horrifying. The only thing worse than this picture is the knowledge I have of seeing several other images of a similar Styles sneeze.

He’s an Aquarius.

Aquarius men are… a force to be reckoned with. While they are free spirited, rebellious, and creative, they also can be condescending, neglectful, and deeply stubborn. Hopefully Styles is working on that in therapy. Gold star for him!

He has an NFL tattoo.

Styles got the Green Bay Packers logo on his inner bicep after losing a bet. If I saw this on a “regular” man’s tinder it would be an immediate swipe left for me. The NFL??? And Wisconsin of all places??? No thank you ❤️

He plugs his nose while jumping into water.

This is the most embarrassing red flag on the list. How are you going to be a twenty-eight year old man plugging your nose while jumping off a private yacht into the waters of the Amalfi coast? The secondhand embarrassment I get looking at this picture makes me need to reach for my anxiety medication.

All these red flags, and we collectively ignore them. I love that for us!!!

all the love,

Claire

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Claire Roma

dog mum 🐶 cool aunt🍹writer/actor ✍🏻cement heiress 💁🏻‍♀️ recovering improviser🙏🏼 dancing queen 💃🏻