7 Things That Are More Confusing Than Prop 3
CW: Abortions, Reproductive Healthcare, Death, Disney Channel, Republicans, Don’t Worry Darling, Suicide, the Mob, America, Matt Gaetz, Child Trafficking, Suicidal Tendencies, Daylight Saving Time.
7 Things That Are More Confusing Than Prop 3
For weeks I’ve been trying to come up with something semi clever to say about today’s historic election (I’m so over living through major, historic moments, can y’all give us a break?!), or at least something you haven’t seen on social media 3495834950 times already (I am incredibly guilty of this act).
Do I re-share my mom’s story of her life saving abortion to (again) highlight the danger people face without access to reproductive healthcare? Do I make a Buzzfeed style list of the politicians I have beef with (non- political version) to lighten the mood? Do I share a deeply personal letter that I had written for my godson, outlining the kind of world I want to see him grow up in? Any of these could have been possibilities, but I didn’t get *the feeling*.
In any creative endeavor I do, when I realize what choice I’m going to make, I get this feeling where my whole body, soul, and brain meet up and go “yes, this is it”. It’s kind of like when Raven would see her visions on That’s So Raven, but minus the physical response (typically) and without the check from Disney. If I don’t get that feeling at some point during the process, I know that endeavor isn’t ready, and maybe it won’t ever be ready, and that’s okay.
I had come to terms with not posting anything today (except pictures of me voting, retweets dunking on Republicans, and sharing others’ posts on my instagram story- but that’s it). With the presidential election coming up as well (in the year I turn thirty no less- that’s a great fucking omen- also we’re having a Blood Moon Lunar eclipse [in Taurus! My house!] on election day- if I wasn’t already scared, now I certainly am) I figure I have plenty of time to stew and write little jokes about American politics.
But I was unwinding from work last night, switching between social media platforms, and came across something from a high school friend that really scratched my brain in the right spot:
At first it made me laugh, but then I thought, you know what- that’s true. I’m twenty-eight (and a half) years old and I still don’t fully understand why we have Daylight Saving Time- or is it Savings Time? All I know is that it exacerbates my depression and makes me want to stay home and in my comfy clothes more than normal. Why doesn’t Arizona do it? WHAT IS THE POINT.
However, I do understand Prop 3 because I sat down and read it. Here are some things that I personally have found more confusing than Prop 3, which you can read in full here.
- The Plot Holes in Don’t Worry Darling (see also Olivia Wilde’s career right now)
I’ve read the original script, I’ve consumed any and all media about the filming, pre/post production, editing, and drama surrounding this movie, as well as all things Harry Styles 365 days a year, and there are things in this movie that I can’t even rationalize or make sense of. It’s one thing to have an open-ended ending, but it’s another to have so many endings that nothing from the beginning makes sense.
2. The “Magic” in a Magic Eraser
I’m sure it’s some sort of chemical, but how is it so gentle on hands and surfaces, but can fix literally anything? You give a college student one pack on these, and they are set for four years of living in the dorms, which see more damage than most war zones.
3. The Use of Celsius vs. Fahrenheit
Okay, so I understand that America is a dick, and it would be much simpler if everyone just used the same system for something so universal, however, what is celsius? Living in the Midwest my whole life/the constant collapse into climate change, I religiously check the weather each day to plan my outfit and any additions I need to add to survive the day, because I’m a grown up who has their life together.
If it’s 85°F outside, I know it’s gonna be hot and humid. I know what to expect and what I need. But 22°C being equivalent to 71°F doesn’t clearly tell me if I need a light jacket or not.
4. Why My Taste in Men is So Counterproductive to My Love Life?
- Middle School “Boyfriend”: Deceased
The term boyfriend is liberally used here, but after finding out he died over the summer, it threw me for a loop. - High School Boyfriend: Republican
Yes, I dated a Republican, but I was a minor. Because of the Republican party’s ties as of late (looking at you, child trafficker, Matt Gaetz!) I also feel the need to clarify that he was a minor as well, and despite being a Republican, he was an exceptionally stand up guy, and I am sure he still is now. He’s the exception to the rule.
Now I send messages like this on the hellscape that are dating apps:
Guy I Was in Love With in College: Gay
The first time I told someone I loved them romantically, he responded with “I’m gay” and it was super fun for the both of us! My phone has referred to me as Queen Hag since 2017.
5. Any Math Class Involving Letters
See: Algebra I, Algebra II, Trigonometry, etc.
Thank god I opted out of Calculus senior year. Knowing I was going to art school early in my senior year of high school was truly one of my life’s greatest blessings.
6. What Happened to Libby Lu?
God that would be a great docu-series title, but thankfully I am not talking about a missing woman, but rather, a crucial piece of every 90s and 00s babies’ girlhood. Libby Lu was basically a preteen girl-like overpriced spa that included “makeovers” with copious amounts of glitter, sticky lip gloss, and horrific wigs.
It was the best time ever. Honestly, if I could, I would throw my bachelorette party there. I’m not getting married anytime soon, I just would love to experience Libby Lu with my best friends as adults with adult snacks and drinks.
Libby Lu was all the rage, from kindergarteners to middle schoolers. I know this for a fact because my younger sister and I went together and with our respective friends. One day it was all anyone talked about, and then, poof! She was gone, girl. Going off how expensive I remember it being, there is no reason Libby should’ve disappeared like she did.
I miss her. Come back soon, Libby Lu!
Here I am sporting the “Hannah Montana” Makeover from 2007.
7. The Ending of the Sopranos
As a 3rd generation Italian American and a bonafide Sopranos Scholar (check my college transcripts, babe!) I find myself thinking about the series ending once in a while. I personally don’t think Tony died, yet something potentially dangerous and life threatening happened to him, signifying the constant cycle in the mob culture.
What bothers me more is why can’t Meadow parallel park? Is she the one in danger? Why is she switching her birth control? Why “Don’t Stop Believin’”? What’s with the guy at the counter that came in before AJ? What does the order of the characters’ arrivals mean? David Chase never does anything without a solid reason, and there are so many questions about this iconic ending- but it works (unlike Don’t Worry Darling).
Side note: It’s a tough day when you realize you’re the AJ Soprano of the family, but hey, at least I didn’t try to kill myself in the family pool, I kept my suicidal tendencies to my bedroom.
Happy Election Day!
